Dead

I want to kill myself. I do. And I have to scream and cry on my bedroom floor so I don't do it. I hate my brother. I hate my mom. I hate my dad. I'm incapable of loving any of them. I hate my family and j hate myself. 

Senior Year

Depressed and suicidal, waiting for my only comfort to leave 

Numb

I don't feel anything.

I don't love theatre anymore. I've quit it completely without really much regret even though I say differently. 

I love Jack, but sometimes I don't care about the things I'm saying to him

I don't feel happy for anyone for anything good that happens to them 

I have no friends because of all of the things I've figured out about them

I'm going to a college I said that I never would and I'm completely indifferent 

What the fuck have I become? 

The return of the hate.

I was going really well without this blog for a couple months.  

But, it's back. I hate myself. I've hated myself so much that there's no more of me to love. I'll just keep a record on here so people know why I'm gone if something were to.. happen. 

I am so in love with you. 

Christopher Jacobs

You're always going to be that boy. 

The boy that is my best friend and will be through anything, no matter what I say. We've been through a lot and I'm surprised we are still as close as we are. You're always going to be that boy that liked me every summer when we were little. You're always going to be that boy that tries to boost my self esteem. You're always going to be that boy that I warn that I'm on my period and you're extra nice to me the whole day because you know how I get. You're always going to be that boy who doesn't let other people's opinions of anyone affect your's. You're always going to the boy I get in trouble with my boyfriend for talking to too much.

 You're always going to be CJ. And I love you so much for that. 

He asked for them.. 

What? You're not like that.