I like him. I like him a lot. 

But I have no idea sometimes. He likes girls. He really likes girls. So I find it hard to believe that he likes me as much as he says he does. 

He scares me too much, I guess. I'm afraid that I'll start believing what he says;  that I'll believe that he loves me. But the minute I do, I'm gonna get dropped. And forgotten. 

Here in a couple weeks, I'm going lose a shit ton of people. A shit ton of people that I need to stay. People that I don't know what I am going to do without them. The only people who have kept me from making terrible choices. And I can't afford to lose them and him.

I can't do that.