Life.

I have always felt forgettable. After I die, I believe people will talk about me for a little bit, and the the subject of Tori  will die with me.

I always thought that if i killed myself, I have a better chance of being remembered. People would be pretending they loved me, but it's better than the awful things they say about me. "They" being the people who hate me but only know a few basic things about me. 

I want to make a difference. I want to be remembered for something awesome. I don't want to be forgotten. 

I want to invent something, I want to create something, I want to be something.  I get told all the time to have a backup plan. And I just want to yell "SHUT UP." Because I have a back up plan. I just don't want to talk about it. Because it's not what I want. I want what I want out of life and I'll be miserable with out it. It breaks my heart to see people immediately flee to their back up. Because that's like giving up. And giving up is a terrible, terrible thing. If there's a change of plan, that's different. But going into something knowing you're gonna be miserable is awful. 

I want to be remembered. 

I want to make an impact.

I want to be missed. 

I want to be the best that I can be.